May is the Month of Meh

I have not posted in a while. I know I owe you guys a month and a half. I mean, technically, I don't owe anyone any thing but I do feel committed to you now, ya know what I'm sayin'? I'm going to start by saying I'm a bit overwhelmed. Actually not a bit, A LOT. I have not even finished the blog I promised myself to post after I come home from Southeast Asia. It was an amazing trip, I swear. There are things going on recently and my birthday's coming up soon but I gotta tell you, there's something off. I don't know why it is or where it is coming from, but there's really something off.

Ever since I got back, work has not been going great for me. There's a lot of pressure. I mean, for real, I've been out for two weeks, what was I thinking? It's been more than a month and I still feel like I'm catching up. All these new happenings, I feel like I'm stuck in the past. I think I'm having these negatives things planted in my head too which are absolutely not helping. I know I'm speaking so vaguely, I just can't give you the full deets cause ya know, it's work.

And as I promised in one of my previous blogs, I will tell you what happens to my application to the Local Guide Summit 2017. I've spent days on that application, but probably others spent even more. Needless to say, I did not make it to the cut. It honestly made me sadder than I thought it would. Gladly today, I can say that I've officially moved on from that bitter part of my life. (LOL, but really, I took it waaaaayyyy too seriously.)

Another things is that my vegan diet has not been going great. One, since I won't be seeing my high school friends, I have zero motivation to lose weight, and two, I'm so broke I can't even choose what to eat. Well, the second part is a lie cause I've been eating soup dumplings non stop for the past three weekends BUT REGARDLESS, it's still relatively cheaper than a bowl of salad in Santa Monica. I'm not even joking. And afterwards, I have a smile on my face and not tears. Man, I suck at this. I really suck at living my life recently.

And now it's 12 am on a Monday morning, gotta wake up in a few hours and I don't even feel sleepy. Tired, yes. Sleepy, no. I'm gonna blame this on the Sunset tea with soy milk I had earlier when really I should blame myself for lack of better judgement.

Sigh.

Do you feel me, bruh?

I guess not. I love being overdramatic, don't I?

To conclude this, I guess I was wrong when I said I don't where this "off"-ness is coming from because I literally just stated the things that may have been making me upset or sad or unsatisfied. I'm hoping that the days to come will feel a lot better.

ACTUALLY, to leave things on a positive note, I want to mention that I have gone to two spin classes this month. *taps myself on the back* That's pretty big for me - yes, I'm looking at you, gym rats, that are judging me so hard right now. So yay for that. I also just found a place for mi person and me to move into next month. Yay for that as well. I guess June will be better. We're just halfway in...there's still time to keep growing.

As I've always thought, it's okay to go down a bit. At least you know there's movement, there's progress. The worst thing that could happen is that you stay in the same place as you always have been. Whatever that means to you, I wish you all the best.

Cheers,

AG x